good night

so the other night, I'm tucking my punkin pie into bed and i give him a kiss and tell him i love him to pieces.

he says, "i love you more."

"impossible," i say, "there is no love is bigger than momma love."

"yes there is," he whispers. "mine."

soakin' it in

just a few shots from the beach, where we played in the water with dolphins, buried ourselves (ok, that was really just him), and finished off the day with an ice cream shake from rubys.

busy doing nothing

just wanted to acknowledge our absence around here.  apparently, summer vacation keeps us busier than usual.  doing what?  i really don't know.



i do know what we aren't doing.  we aren't rushing through our evenings doing homework, we aren't getting dressed bright and early, or sticking to a schedule.  rules about not snacking before dinner and what technically constitutes "dinner" are being broken pretty regularly.

i have learned a few things in the past 2 weeks of vacation though.  i've learned that the joy my punk gets from being allowed to take a huge cowboy rifle on evening walks with us (so he can keep us safe from invisible enemies) outweighs the questioning looks i get from other adults along our path.  i now know that a medium pizza is no longer enough to feed the two of us.  i know that i can handle "boy" issues without batting an eyelash.  and I'm learning that ice cream helps me get through watching "spy kids" for the 500th time.

i've also learned that when my punk wakes up before me, he comes to kiss me softly while he thinks i don't know.

this summer is off to a beautiful start!

painted ladies

a few weeks ago, we acquired a few caterpillars.  our first painted lady butterfly has emerged!





we held her, studied her, and then when she was ready, she flew from us to some of our flowers.  she spent about half an hour touring our patio and then off she went!

i'm watching him sleep.

he has such a beautiful face. golden skin. full lips.  a few freckles. and those eyelashes.

sometimes he doesn't stand still long enough for me to take him all in.  but here, during slumber, I'm etching the 7-year old him into my memory.

he changes so often. morphing into a leaner, taller, more mature boy almost weekly. 

i'm sure i will love every stage to come, just as i have loved every stage that has passed.  but, my heart aches for the times i will never get back.  he no longer wants to be rocked, and he's too big for me to carry.  every day he becomes a teensy bit more independent.  i am acutely aware that he is, ever so slightly, wanting less of me and more of the world.

there should be another word for this feeling besides "love."  it just doesn't seem to do this feeling justice. momma love isn't like other love.  It's fierce, unrelenting, and sometimes it consumes me.

sometimes, i wish i could just freeze time.

the view from where i'm sittin'

so sentinmental...

when I was a kid, my grandpa grew countless fruits and vegetables.  his favorite were his home-grown tomatoes.  i hated tomatoes.  although, i'm not sure how i knew this, since i refused to even try one.  looking back, I'm sure it drove him crazy to hear me say that.  but he would just smile, shake his head, and pop another tomato in his mouth. 

he was so good at waiting patiently.  waiting for us to learn our own lessons, to realize that indeed, he had been right all along.  nothing made him happier than seeing his family succeed, and nothing made me happier than seeing him "glow" for me.

but I digress, i'm just talking about a tomato here.

he always told me that i just HAD to have a home-grown tomato, that the reason that i didn't like them was because the store bought ones are worthless.

do I need to say it?

he was, indeed, right all along.

this little jem joined some goat cheese and a baguette. so delicious.

how i wish that i could take a basket to him these days, just to see him glow.